In hindu culture , for a long time, the responsibility of performing the last rituals is entrusted upon the male child (putra ) , the eldest son in case of more than one sons. A dead body is cremated as per the customs, the son would lit the funeral pyre . Customs vary from region to region and community to community. If the parents doesn’t have a male child, nephew bearing the same surname can assume the role of a son and perform the last rites as per our sastras. Sastras also authorized dauhitra , daughter’s son to do the task in case of no sons. Putra , a Sanskrit word means the one who would save from naraka(hell).Son-in-law without father can also do the task.
Traditionally, a girl child is refrained from this job or even entering the burial ground probably due to the following reasons;
o A woman is not the same every day physically and mentally. She experiences sensitive times in the form of menstruation and pregnancy.
o A couple used to have more number of children which means a woman would be pregnant or feeding mother taking care of her infants for most of her young age.
o Out of the two natural processes, birth and death the ‘birth’ aspect is thrust upon the feminine by virtue of nature. Female beings had the responsibility of bearing and giving birth to children and nurturing them to a certain age. So the ‘death’ aspect would have been assigned upon the male ones.
All this is possible in the past because of the situation prevailing at that time. Generally a pair used to have more number of children which means there are more chances of having a male child. Families used to live in same neighbourhood or sometimes joint families which supported each other in good and bad times. Those who doesn’t have a son may adapt or foster relatives son to their needs.
Everyone is content with one or two children, the number limited by their affordability in raising children. Today’s parents are happy with two children with a small apprehension about the final rituals.One or both of the children form middle class and upper middle class sections are likely to settle in foreign countries. Given the scenario like present day pandemic, even one does have a male child but could not come down due to travel restrictions , what should be done? The concept of extended family in India sounds good , but its relevance in today’s times is subject to some limitations.
Imagine a situation
where parents have a a son and a daughter , where son is living abroad ,
daughter is staying in India. Son could not make it to the final rites ,
daughter born to the same parents is
willing to do the job, what is wrong in going ahead. Any change in the society
will only come when it is a necessity, not because it is fashionable to do
something. Why not daughters of parents who doesn't have son take up this task??
The different lokas mentioned in the puranas one would attain after this material life are dealt with exclusively in the Garuda Puran. Swargam or narakam or any state one would reach by their good or bad deeds are described in Garuda Puran. Sadgati (lokas if at all they exist ) one will attain will only depend on their own karma (good or bad), not by having a son who will lit the funreral pyre. The same puranas are to be believed , the effect of kanyadaan will take one to brahma loka after death. By doing kanyadaan of your daughter you can be sure of reaching the satyaloka(brahma loka) after leaving this world.It is time we accept what is relevant in today’s times.
Few years back we saw
prime minister A B vajpayee’ foster daughter lit his funeral pyre. A month back
Gen. Bipin Rawat and Brigadier L S Lidder 's Daughters performed last rites of
their fathers. Hope, common people also follow the trend. Times of extreme uncertainity driven by the pandemic, forces every one to follow unconventional paths.
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